Cankles and Concussions
(Originally published Sunday, April 28, 2013)
I’m probably going to get some phone calls and texts after I post this, but after the week I’ve had, I don’t care. I’m just going to preface this post by saying this is not intended to make fun of anyone, unless you’re one of my friends, in which case, this statement is null and void.
I spent the weekend back at home in Mississippi and I’m now back in DC laid up in my bed with my foot elevated. I sprained my ankle Friday evening at a friend’s get together. I’ve never experienced any kind of broken/sprained anything, though I knew swelling would be involved along with some pain and aches. I’m thankful it’s not broken. But it seriously looks like I have a cankle. For those of y’all who know me, you know I have this complex about cankles. One of my biggest fears is that I will have cankles, especially if/when I’m ever pregnant. You may think I’m weird, but everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has a complex about something in regards to their body, whether it be big ears, bad skin, bald spots, whatever it may be even if you don’t have it! Well mine are cankles. Judge me.
Earlier this week, I was driving in Arlington to meet a dude for drinks when I was involved in a collision. Somehow it was my fault. I don’t remember too much about the accident, due to the fact I hit my head pretty hard and sustained a mild concussion that left me calling people by the wrong name, asking questions I already knew the answer to, and terrible headaches and exhaustion. I’ve never had a concussion before, so these past few days have been interesting to say the least.
My entire driver side was damaged and has to be replaced. The other driver was a 15 year old Asian kid with a learner’s permit and his older bro. Once I pulled over, I realized I can’t open my car door so I have to crawl out the passenger side. Upon doing so, the door closes behind me and I lock my keys in my car. (insert every explicit profanity here). I call the dude I’m supposed to be meeting (which btw I was right in front of the restaurant we had agreed to meet at) and I’m sure I sounded a mess and said something along the lines of “So this is pretty embarrassing but I’ve had a wreck and so I’m probably going to be late but I’m right outside the restaurant…” He responds with “OMG are you ok” kind of thing. Even after I tell him where I am, he says “yeah well uh, whenever you’re done with all that, me and my boys are up here having drinks so come on up.” Great. I’d found myself a guy with a real heart of gold. To make matters worse, because the accident was my fault, they gave me a citation and the pop-a-lock people charged me…wait for it……
ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FIVE DOLLARS!!!
When the dude told me how much I owed him I said “well why don’t you just play a porn for me while you open my car so I can watch someone else get screwed.” Nothing. I digress.
I leave. I cry. I call Sergio. Of all people, why I called him, I have no idea. For those of y’all who don’t know him, he doesn’t do hysterical crying. He’s a guy, so of course comforting a crying female is foreign territory. I think I called him because I just missed home, and he is a big reminder of it. He also is very good at making me laugh. He told me jokes, how much of a douche that guy was, and how sorry he was for the events that took place. Mission accomplished, he made me feel better. I missed home and I knew I was about to be back in Mississippi so honestly I was glad the wreck fell on the same week that I was going home because after a day like that, I just wanted to get away and be around people who make you feel special.
To date, this has been one of the worst weeks of my entire adult life. Why does life do things like this? Wham, Bam, Thank you ma’am. Just when I was feeling on top of my game, all this happens. I told my dad this and he said “Sounds like life to me.” I’ve tried to look at the bright side of all this…………………………………………………………………………….
and here’s what I’ve come up with.
1. If I was going to break my ankle, better to have it happen with people who actually care and I don’t mind being a mess around than with people I barely know.
2. Since my car is in the shop, I get to drive a Mini Cooper, which is so much fun to drive. I think I may actually sell my car and buy one. MAYBE. Ever since I saw The Italian Job with Marky Mark and Charlize Theron I’ve always wanted one. Plus, living in the city it’s much easier to find a parking spot with a much smaller car.
3. And last and certainly not least, the only good thing I can take from that ass of a dude is when you meet people like him, you really learn to appreciate the good people in your life, which if you’re smart, you’ll make damn well sure you hold on to.
