I’m may not be graceful, but at least I have manners.
(Originally published Monday, February 25, 2013)
I figured I would give you guys, err sorry, ya’ll an update on how well I’ve been adjusting to DC, or rather how DC has been adjusting me. My momma and daddy always told me to chew with my mouth closed. Now I don’t know about Ping, because she is like a mouse, you just don’t know she’s there until you see her. She pretty much keeps to herself. Ting and I were standing in the kitchen the other evening conversing with each other when she just lets one rip. Now I tried to keep my composure, and I think I did for the most part. Normally when that happens, it’s only polite to say “excuse me” right? But then it happened again and then a few more times…so much so that I actually forget what I’m saying mid sentence, I couldn’t tell you what we were talking about. She looked at me and I her. I sorta tilted my head a little bit like I usually do when I’m confused about something, then I opened my mouth to try to say something because it was just awkward, but then she did it again. I honestly think I was just waiting for her to acknowledge her flatulence, apologize, and continue on. Since the Candid Cameras didn’t come out from the closet, I just walked out of the apartment. I thought to myself, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here.” Well, even as I’m sitting here typing this, she’s in the kitchen cooking dinner and I’m in the dining room, and she’s just letting em’ go. It’s been like this for at least a week.
So after our “conversation” that evening, I decided I needed to wash some clothes. The laundry facility along with our gym is in the basement. Actually they are side by side. And they are surrounded by glass doors and floor to ceiling glass panels, so you can see everything. As I’m walking to the laundry room, I notice this dude running on one of the treadmills, thinking something along the lines of “hmmm he’s cuuuuute.” While I’m admiring his stride, I run right into the glass door and stumble backwards a little bit (BOOP). I try to walk it off like nothing had happened but of course the cutie on the treadmill saw everything. FABULOUS! He started to snicker and I wanted to die. But hey, at least I now know where the door is. Only later do I realize that when I get back up to the elevator and see my reflection, I have the “joker smile” thing going on, because I drank a bunch of red kool-aid. (sighs) But I guess tomorrow is another day!
-A
